How to get out of self-doubt holes and restore your confidence

I feel vulnerable and weepy. I am watching what others are doing and I feel inadequate, what I have to say is not good enough, not valuable enough.  I seek outside validation to feel useful. I want to go hide in a cave forever. I feel so worthless, I can’t do anything...I get stuff started and then end up back here- blah, blah, blah…


WHAM!  Self-doubt whacks me upside the head with a 2x4.

Just a few hours ago, I was joyfully flowing with inspiration and creativity. Things were happening and I felt all possibility.  But now, I feel in a hole I can’t get out. It is such a sneaky process that happens outside my awareness, looking back I can see the progression.

Racing thoughts begin that overwhelm me, they demand I do something, now!  But what?  

I am flooded with urgency of at least five things that I either should or shouldn’t be doing.  My heart matches the pace of my thoughts, and now I feel paralyzed.

Next I feel guilty for not doing anything and the shame and embarrassment over what I have done creep in.  I want to hide, to give up.  This work feels too hard, too heavy, I can’t do it.  

My mind comes back with “see, it's like this every time you get a little momentum, you end up right back here in the hole.  Just proves you can’t do it”.  UGGGG!!  Those are killer feelings, the exact opposite from the joy, inspiration, and ease I was just experiencing.

The contrast engulfs me and I forget that I did receive, create and experience the flow. Surely I can get there again, but in that hole, I want to give up.  

Tips for self-doubt holes:  

  1. Get out of your head- cry, talk it out, write, dance, scream, sing, make yourself laugh.  Move that short circuited energy that is contrived by ego. Choose to not buy that s%*t.  
  2. Figure out what to do right here and now that your soul craves- take a nap, go for a walk, read, watch a movie… What would feel best?  DO IT. Step away from what you are doing, you cannot do anything in this low vibration.  Care for yourself in order to raise your vibration and return.  
  3. Bring yourself to the present moment- drop down into the body, what do you notice?  Start by taking deep breaths, focus on how that feels.  
    Bring your mind from the past or future to right here. Be diligent here- use your senses- what do you see, hear, smell, feel.  Grab an oil, rub a smooth stone, play your favorite music, let some quality chocolate melt in your mouth.  
  4. Make a gratitude list- in your mind, on paper or out loud. This is an infinite list- start where you are and expand it. When you notice you have wandered, come back. It is the fastest way to shift things.  

I remind you that the thoughts and emotions you feel in the hole- ARE NOT YOU!!!  This is not who you are.  Repeat to yourself:  THIS IS NOT WHO I AM.  The flow is who you are, that is why it feels so good.

How to restore your confidence:

  1. Breathe deep cleansing and releasing breaths.  Do at least 3.  Can you feel how good it is to come back down into the body away from that frenzied mind?
  2. Rub your palms together generating some energy and rest them over your heart. Close your eyes and feel the space opening up, and energy moving all around and up.  
  3. Rub your palms together and place them over your eyes (keep your eyes open or closed, whatever feels best). Feel this space relaxing, clearing and filling with light. If there is any residue, pull it out with your hands and shake it off- repeat until it feels better.  
  4. State what you choose- “I choose to feel ______,  I choose to shift ________, I trade in ____________ for ______________”.   

These are simple breaking state exercises that work. This experience is here to serve you, to help you understand your strength and power.  Use it.  

It matters not how often you find yourself in this hole.  For that is how you get stronger-by moving yourself to where you want to be.  Be careful not to kick yourself while you're down, be gentle, check in and get you what you feel you need.