Abandonment issues? An exercise to heal...

Have you ever felt abandoned?  

Where someone you want with you turns around and walks away, leaving you?
A friend, parent, lover, partner, child, sibling…

You know what it feels like to be left- as if your feelings or wants didn’t exist.  
Yeah, me too.  

We all do- over and over again on a small and grand scale until we heal the original abandonment.

What is the original abandonment?  

It is a term I use to describe the moment we each choose to leave our unique divine expression for what the world (parents, society, school, culture, religion) told us was more acceptable.

We abandoned ourselves. I abandoned me, you abandoned you.  
This is the root cause of all our misery.  

That leave taking set you and me on a quest to find pure love, truth, wholeness and worth outside of ourselves; a fruitless search, for you can never find what you desire outside of you.

It is sad to think about- myself as a 5 or 6 year old standing there confused and sad as I walked away. Makes me want to cry...before the tissues are needed however-unless a good cry is in order, I support that-there is hope!   

You can heal the original abandonment and return to you.  
I know, I went through this powerful process this summer.

It was surprising, that even after all the self-help studying, transformation work, energy work, counseling, group therapy, a masters degree in mental health counseling...that I never heard of or recognized this kind of work. So I hope you might find the idea as useful as I feel it is. It is the soul of my work.

Because when I did this work and felt me return to me, I experienced:  

Clarity about what is mind and what is intuition
Restoration of soul health to a place of creative expression, freedom and being
Freedom to make conscious choices from a place of wholeness
Alignment with my true power, confidence and gifts to serve humanity
Clear and improved relationships


I have much more to share about this topic, but I thought I would leave you with a piece of this work. This work on the original abandonment is one of the steps of my signature program How to Manifest Your Ideal Partner. Because once you can clear the needy dependency attractor patterns (also a term I made up :) you can attract from a clean, conscious place instead of your need to find someone who can make your feel whole again. May you feel the deep pure love of source within you as you connect back to you.  

Now for a very personal glimpse into this work:  

During this process, I felt like I met up with that child I had left behind. I inquired of her what she needed, what would feel safe and help her feel loved and appreciated.  She had a whole list of things, and I felt so liberated to put these needs down on the paper, with a confidence that I deserved these things and that I would be receiving them.

Here was my list of needs:

  • I need people to love, accept me and want me around
  • Hug me, touch me, comfort me, console me-when I am upset
  • Delight in me and are interested in who I am and what I have to say
  • Love me and let me do things my own way
  • Encourage my curiosity to explore and make choices without the paradigm of right or wrong
  • Support and guide me to understand me-my unique gifts and qualities
  • Watch me and step in to ask a question or help me when I may be stuck, with respect and honor for my process 
  • Invite me with enthusiasm to unfold and blossom, to explore and become
  • Who just sits with me at times holding space-not saying or doing anything. Just being present to witness and love
  • Who will dance, sing, laugh and play with me.  We laugh!  
  • Who sees the glory in my expansion and evolution and has plenty of time to patiently watch (in fact no time exists here)


Next I wrote myself a message addressing these needs:  
Dear Channy, I love you and accept you just the way you are right now and want you around. I want to be with you, and have you with me all of the time.  

Feel my arms around you, wrapping you up in a gentle, loving hug, stroking your hair and rubbing your arm, letting you cry or just rest in my arms, as long as you want.  Come, come here.

I delight in you, I want to hear everything you have to say. Whatever it is, it is fascinating to me. I love to hear your ideas, thoughts, opinions, perceptions.  I am so interested in you Chandra. It is joyful to watch you try things out, and learn about the world. Your exploration is wonderful.  I learn so much just by watching you.  You teach me!  Even those times you get frustrated about a choice- I love how you take that in and learn from it.  I love that you take advantage of every experience- and remember that there is no right or wrong, you really grasp this idea about living fully.  You are amazing.

I support you in each experience as you understand more about yourself, what you want and don’t want.  I especially want you to see your uniqueness.  Everything about you is so special- you have very special gifts that only you have and qualities to share with the world.  For they don’t exist unless you share them.  So keep searching for them, accepting them, and using them.

I am here to witness your beautiful process of your life. It is so marvelous the way it is unfolding. If you want to talk about anything, we can explore it together. I can ask you questions so you can talk this through. It will help you to get centered on how you feel and what you want.  That is most important - what is inside you. Come, let us talk.  We can watch your wisdom unfold.

Or we don’t even have to talk, we can just sit here. There is no need for you to do or say anything, just be here. I create this sacred space around you for just that. I witness your life, all that you are experiencing. I see how tough it can be sometimes. I hold this space you can come and rest in.

I have full confidence, no doubts, that you will arrive where you want to be. You will take the time you need, you will create and choose what you need along the way. Remember there is no right or wrong way to do this. You are on track, your process is so valuable. I marvel at it, how much wisdom you have and how powerful you are. It shines through. It is all perfect.  

I share some ideas with you- options that may expand your vision, but ultimately you are the expert here (maybe it doesn’t feel like it), but truly you are. You are doing wonderful.  I respect the choices you have made all your life, I honor each experience you have created to bring you to this point.

Wow!  I mean wow, what you have done with your time. Your power and courage is astounding me, to think about what you set out to do in this lifetime. To think about what you had to forget so you could work backwards (reverse conditioning) and really claim that knowing for yourself is POWERFUL!  And now look at what is yours, look at how you are pulling back in all of your power to understand and use it.

You are so teachable, and willing.  I feel the power of your willingness to change.  

I glory in your expansion and evolution that I witness. The time you take to really understand things in your own way is cool. It helps me learn patience. Even when you feel impatient, you are still reaching and open to learn what is right there.  

I love your optimism. Your positive attitude really shines through you. People have been drawn to that. You ability to have fun is also infectious. It feels like childhood fun.

So are you ready?  Cuz, right now….it is time to dance, sing and play.  Let’s have some fun!


Need tissues?  It chokes me up every time I read this.  
Sometimes it is a little uncomfortable to read- because it is such pure Godly love in these words-and I am not used to not allowing myself to feel that. I didn’t feel worthy of it.  

Dearest friend, does that not allowing and worth part feel true to you?  

It is okay- read the letter again.  :)  I promise what was said in my letter is true for you.

We are here to learn and experience. I suggest a big part of our purpose is to return to the highest truth of who we are, allow us to come forth to live, play, and serve according to that.  

If you would like more about this topic. Simply email support@chandramarin.com and tell me which you would prefer:  
Option 1:  A series of 60 minute webinars
Option 2:  A one day intensive teleseminar with a follow up coaching/energy session
Option 3:  A 30-day process with support and guidance all the way
Your email will go on a special list to be notified first what direction I take.  

And!  If you are interested in the How to Manifest Your Ideal Partner- I am enrolling in the 5-month mentorship that will begin in January 2017 click here for more info 

Or you can sign up NOW for a Heart Sweep Discovery Call - 4 secrets to receive your ideal partner. This 30-minute breakthrough call is perfect for you if you are ready for the support of an empowered partnership!

We’ll work together to help you:
Discover what is getting in the way of you manifesting your ideal partnership.
Receive and personalize the 4 secret steps to clear your way to receive your desires.  
Identify the one step you can take NOW to get started.

FREE OFFER GOOD UNTIL December 10th.

Please share this or introduce me to someone you know that could use an ideal partner in their lives. I am looking for spiritual conscious women who are ready to embark on a deeply transformative experience and consciously call forth their partner.

With much love, 

Chandra

Remember:  You are whole, right here-right now. <3