Abandonment issues? An exercise to heal...

Have you ever felt abandoned?  

Where someone you want with you turns around and walks away, leaving you?
A friend, parent, lover, partner, child, sibling…

You know what it feels like to be left- as if your feelings or wants didn’t exist.  
Yeah, me too.  

We all do- over and over again on a small and grand scale until we heal the original abandonment.

What is the original abandonment?  

It is a term I use to describe the moment we each choose to leave our unique divine expression for what the world (parents, society, school, culture, religion) told us was more acceptable.

We abandoned ourselves. I abandoned me, you abandoned you.  
This is the root cause of all our misery.  

That leave taking set you and me on a quest to find pure love, truth, wholeness and worth outside of ourselves; a fruitless search, for you can never find what you desire outside of you.

It is sad to think about- myself as a 5 or 6 year old standing there confused and sad as I walked away. Makes me want to cry...before the tissues are needed however-unless a good cry is in order, I support that-there is hope!   

You can heal the original abandonment and return to you.  
I know, I went through this powerful process this summer.

It was surprising, that even after all the self-help studying, transformation work, energy work, counseling, group therapy, a masters degree in mental health counseling...that I never heard of or recognized this kind of work. So I hope you might find the idea as useful as I feel it is. It is the soul of my work.

Because when I did this work and felt me return to me, I experienced:  

Clarity about what is mind and what is intuition
Restoration of soul health to a place of creative expression, freedom and being
Freedom to make conscious choices from a place of wholeness
Alignment with my true power, confidence and gifts to serve humanity
Clear and improved relationships


I have much more to share about this topic, but I thought I would leave you with a piece of this work. This work on the original abandonment is one of the steps of my signature program How to Manifest Your Ideal Partner. Because once you can clear the needy dependency attractor patterns (also a term I made up :) you can attract from a clean, conscious place instead of your need to find someone who can make your feel whole again. May you feel the deep pure love of source within you as you connect back to you.  

Now for a very personal glimpse into this work:  

During this process, I felt like I met up with that child I had left behind. I inquired of her what she needed, what would feel safe and help her feel loved and appreciated.  She had a whole list of things, and I felt so liberated to put these needs down on the paper, with a confidence that I deserved these things and that I would be receiving them.

Here was my list of needs:

  • I need people to love, accept me and want me around
  • Hug me, touch me, comfort me, console me-when I am upset
  • Delight in me and are interested in who I am and what I have to say
  • Love me and let me do things my own way
  • Encourage my curiosity to explore and make choices without the paradigm of right or wrong
  • Support and guide me to understand me-my unique gifts and qualities
  • Watch me and step in to ask a question or help me when I may be stuck, with respect and honor for my process 
  • Invite me with enthusiasm to unfold and blossom, to explore and become
  • Who just sits with me at times holding space-not saying or doing anything. Just being present to witness and love
  • Who will dance, sing, laugh and play with me.  We laugh!  
  • Who sees the glory in my expansion and evolution and has plenty of time to patiently watch (in fact no time exists here)


Next I wrote myself a message addressing these needs:  
Dear Channy, I love you and accept you just the way you are right now and want you around. I want to be with you, and have you with me all of the time.  

Feel my arms around you, wrapping you up in a gentle, loving hug, stroking your hair and rubbing your arm, letting you cry or just rest in my arms, as long as you want.  Come, come here.

I delight in you, I want to hear everything you have to say. Whatever it is, it is fascinating to me. I love to hear your ideas, thoughts, opinions, perceptions.  I am so interested in you Chandra. It is joyful to watch you try things out, and learn about the world. Your exploration is wonderful.  I learn so much just by watching you.  You teach me!  Even those times you get frustrated about a choice- I love how you take that in and learn from it.  I love that you take advantage of every experience- and remember that there is no right or wrong, you really grasp this idea about living fully.  You are amazing.

I support you in each experience as you understand more about yourself, what you want and don’t want.  I especially want you to see your uniqueness.  Everything about you is so special- you have very special gifts that only you have and qualities to share with the world.  For they don’t exist unless you share them.  So keep searching for them, accepting them, and using them.

I am here to witness your beautiful process of your life. It is so marvelous the way it is unfolding. If you want to talk about anything, we can explore it together. I can ask you questions so you can talk this through. It will help you to get centered on how you feel and what you want.  That is most important - what is inside you. Come, let us talk.  We can watch your wisdom unfold.

Or we don’t even have to talk, we can just sit here. There is no need for you to do or say anything, just be here. I create this sacred space around you for just that. I witness your life, all that you are experiencing. I see how tough it can be sometimes. I hold this space you can come and rest in.

I have full confidence, no doubts, that you will arrive where you want to be. You will take the time you need, you will create and choose what you need along the way. Remember there is no right or wrong way to do this. You are on track, your process is so valuable. I marvel at it, how much wisdom you have and how powerful you are. It shines through. It is all perfect.  

I share some ideas with you- options that may expand your vision, but ultimately you are the expert here (maybe it doesn’t feel like it), but truly you are. You are doing wonderful.  I respect the choices you have made all your life, I honor each experience you have created to bring you to this point.

Wow!  I mean wow, what you have done with your time. Your power and courage is astounding me, to think about what you set out to do in this lifetime. To think about what you had to forget so you could work backwards (reverse conditioning) and really claim that knowing for yourself is POWERFUL!  And now look at what is yours, look at how you are pulling back in all of your power to understand and use it.

You are so teachable, and willing.  I feel the power of your willingness to change.  

I glory in your expansion and evolution that I witness. The time you take to really understand things in your own way is cool. It helps me learn patience. Even when you feel impatient, you are still reaching and open to learn what is right there.  

I love your optimism. Your positive attitude really shines through you. People have been drawn to that. You ability to have fun is also infectious. It feels like childhood fun.

So are you ready?  Cuz, right now….it is time to dance, sing and play.  Let’s have some fun!


Need tissues?  It chokes me up every time I read this.  
Sometimes it is a little uncomfortable to read- because it is such pure Godly love in these words-and I am not used to not allowing myself to feel that. I didn’t feel worthy of it.  

Dearest friend, does that not allowing and worth part feel true to you?  

It is okay- read the letter again.  :)  I promise what was said in my letter is true for you.

We are here to learn and experience. I suggest a big part of our purpose is to return to the highest truth of who we are, allow us to come forth to live, play, and serve according to that.  

If you would like more about this topic. Simply email support@chandramarin.com and tell me which you would prefer:  
Option 1:  A series of 60 minute webinars
Option 2:  A one day intensive teleseminar with a follow up coaching/energy session
Option 3:  A 30-day process with support and guidance all the way
Your email will go on a special list to be notified first what direction I take.  

And!  If you are interested in the How to Manifest Your Ideal Partner- I am enrolling in the 5-month mentorship that will begin in January 2017 click here for more info 

Or you can sign up NOW for a Heart Sweep Discovery Call - 4 secrets to receive your ideal partner. This 30-minute breakthrough call is perfect for you if you are ready for the support of an empowered partnership!

We’ll work together to help you:
Discover what is getting in the way of you manifesting your ideal partnership.
Receive and personalize the 4 secret steps to clear your way to receive your desires.  
Identify the one step you can take NOW to get started.

FREE OFFER GOOD UNTIL December 10th.

Please share this or introduce me to someone you know that could use an ideal partner in their lives. I am looking for spiritual conscious women who are ready to embark on a deeply transformative experience and consciously call forth their partner.

With much love, 

Chandra

Remember:  You are whole, right here-right now. <3  

My juicy magical love story <3

I invite you to rest for a moment from the hectic schedule and information overload, I promise you a juicy story and a FREE juicy gift.

I am ready to share the details of the 3-year adventure I have been on. It has been so stunning and unbelievable I could hardly talk about it….BUT I am ready to share the secrets I learned to co-create this magic.

In 2011-2012 this was me

  • Newly divorced and single
  • Unemployed
  • The first confirmed case of West Nile Virus that summer

Yes that year was one for a book (one day)!

However in the midst of the chaos, I knew everything was okay. This quote pulled me through, “sometimes when things fall apart, they may be falling together” (unknown).

Fast forward to 2013- I returned home from a dreamy 3 months stay in Italy (a secret life dream checked off, and besides that, doesn’t everyone go to Italy after they divorce?). I was single and excited to find a partner who matched me on all levels and who I could live an adventure with.

But!
-I felt like I missed the boat.
-I thought I would have to experience multiple heartbreaks in order to make a wiser companion choice.
-I was older and felt like time was running out! How long would I have to wait before I could have the relationship of my dreams.
-I was worried about giving up my cool single life to get back into a miserable situation. Because, was an ideal relationship even possible? Really?

I was confessing all this to my Energy Healer when she stopped me and asked (a bit incredulously), “wait, you don’t believe you can manifest your ideal partner?” She proceeded to share her client success stories.

It was the first I had heard of manifesting. Although I had been unconsciously practicing the law of attraction-when I asked and magically received money for my trip to Italy-this was new news. It hooked my attention and I secretly went to work on manifesting an ideal partner.

Oh, and what a joy the process was!

Resources showed up to guide me.
I lived with excited anticipation that something great was about to happen.
Positive energy and momentum flowed in as I embraced the power of co-creating with my higher power.

I felt that anything was possible, and that going to Italy didn’t have to be a once-in-a-lifetime event, so I made plans to go back the next summer. Once again, I asked for extra money and within 2 days an opportunity showed up to easily make more than enough to fund my trip.

Whew, talk about feeling good!
I understood that the better I felt (the higher vibration) the stronger the magnetic waves I would send out pulling to me what I desired.

I remember that I felt like I was floating through life a few inches off the ground.

I recognized divine powers, that assist when we ask for something, began a remodeling job on me in preparation to receive.
Old unproductive beliefs and patterns around men and relationships surfaced that I could consciously shift.
I saw myself transforming, and felt that whether or not this manifesting thing worked, I was satisfied with the changes.

I felt I was returning to be my authentic me.

Rough times were present also-lousy dates, creepy experiences online, lonely weekends longing to be with someone. I wrote in my journal one difficult weekend:

"Ohhhhh! I am lonely for someone to look at me with love and appreciation for having me by their side. For talk and touch- where is it? Is it possible? Coming home alone with no plans on a Friday night, grrrr….. waiting patiently is wearing. What else can I do? I will take excitement any, it is hard doing alone. All I do is work. I just need someone to talk to at the end of the day- someone to touch me- with love volts".

During those difficult times something meaningful came forth. I showed up to care for myself.
-I was tender and kind, giving me what I needed and wanted
-I took myself out on dates or stayed home with a good book or movie
-I arranged to be with friends
-I cried
-I talked with people I trusted.

This strengthened my resolve to continue, but it also let me know I would be all right no matter what happened, because I had me. I became my ideal partner.

Here is the part that chokes me up even now.

Little did I know that a plane had just landed in Dallas, Texas from Europe carrying this man named Leo. He would decide to stay there and check out the single scene, for he was also searching for a partner he could build a happy life with.

Little did he know that days later, an intense feeling to go to Salt Lake City (where I was living) would drive him to book a flight immediately. This was within days of me asking, in sincere prayer, for a partner (I had been afraid to do so, because I knew it would happen on one level, and I didn’t feel ready for it).

Little did we know that 10 days later SMACK! we would meet. After two dates, I knew he was my manifestation. To make a long story short- we dated for a month, I went off to Italy for a shortened version of my trip, we met back up in Sweden and traveled together to Spain where we got engaged, and eloped in Stockholm.

So it worked my friends!! It worked!!

It was less than six months from the time I set the intention to when we met.

We have lived three years of adventure travelling and living an abundant life. That was another strong desire of mine- to live outside the country- but it showed up as 3 countries and with a cool manifested partner! As a priceless gift, my personal spiritual transformation has continued and even accelerated.

Experiencing my own success and having helped a friend find the same results (even quicker), I am here to use my intuitive gifts as an Energy Healing Guide and Manifesting Mentor to guide spiritually conscious women to manifest their ideal partner.

Thank you for reading this far, I am honored you took the time :)

Are you are a single person with desires to manifest your ideal relationship? Are you fired up hearing this story and willing to explore possibilities?

Or
Do you know someone who would benefit from my help?

In order to give gratitude for this miraculous journey of mine, I am gifting a limited number of

FREE Heart Sweep Discovery Call- 4 powerful steps to clear your way and receive your ideal partner. In this 45-minute consultation we explore the hidden problems that keep you from the relationship you desire.

I will offer FREE calls until December 10, when I will begin to charge $160. Do something now to take advantage of free before it goes away.

TO CLAIM ONE, COMMENT DESIRE below and I will send you a private message with the details.

Or if you know someone, TAG the person, in the comments, or private message me their Facebook info and I will send them the details.

I wish you a joyful, empowered day as you consider what dreams and desires might exist for you to powerfully ask and receive.

Infinite possibilities,
Chandra

How to get out of self-doubt holes and restore your confidence

I feel vulnerable and weepy. I am watching what others are doing and I feel inadequate, what I have to say is not good enough, not valuable enough.  I seek outside validation to feel useful. I want to go hide in a cave forever. I feel so worthless, I can’t do anything...I get stuff started and then end up back here- blah, blah, blah…


WHAM!  Self-doubt whacks me upside the head with a 2x4.

Just a few hours ago, I was joyfully flowing with inspiration and creativity. Things were happening and I felt all possibility.  But now, I feel in a hole I can’t get out. It is such a sneaky process that happens outside my awareness, looking back I can see the progression.

Racing thoughts begin that overwhelm me, they demand I do something, now!  But what?  

I am flooded with urgency of at least five things that I either should or shouldn’t be doing.  My heart matches the pace of my thoughts, and now I feel paralyzed.

Next I feel guilty for not doing anything and the shame and embarrassment over what I have done creep in.  I want to hide, to give up.  This work feels too hard, too heavy, I can’t do it.  

My mind comes back with “see, it's like this every time you get a little momentum, you end up right back here in the hole.  Just proves you can’t do it”.  UGGGG!!  Those are killer feelings, the exact opposite from the joy, inspiration, and ease I was just experiencing.

The contrast engulfs me and I forget that I did receive, create and experience the flow. Surely I can get there again, but in that hole, I want to give up.  

Tips for self-doubt holes:  

  1. Get out of your head- cry, talk it out, write, dance, scream, sing, make yourself laugh.  Move that short circuited energy that is contrived by ego. Choose to not buy that s%*t.  
  2. Figure out what to do right here and now that your soul craves- take a nap, go for a walk, read, watch a movie… What would feel best?  DO IT. Step away from what you are doing, you cannot do anything in this low vibration.  Care for yourself in order to raise your vibration and return.  
  3. Bring yourself to the present moment- drop down into the body, what do you notice?  Start by taking deep breaths, focus on how that feels.  
    Bring your mind from the past or future to right here. Be diligent here- use your senses- what do you see, hear, smell, feel.  Grab an oil, rub a smooth stone, play your favorite music, let some quality chocolate melt in your mouth.  
  4. Make a gratitude list- in your mind, on paper or out loud. This is an infinite list- start where you are and expand it. When you notice you have wandered, come back. It is the fastest way to shift things.  

I remind you that the thoughts and emotions you feel in the hole- ARE NOT YOU!!!  This is not who you are.  Repeat to yourself:  THIS IS NOT WHO I AM.  The flow is who you are, that is why it feels so good.

How to restore your confidence:

  1. Breathe deep cleansing and releasing breaths.  Do at least 3.  Can you feel how good it is to come back down into the body away from that frenzied mind?
  2. Rub your palms together generating some energy and rest them over your heart. Close your eyes and feel the space opening up, and energy moving all around and up.  
  3. Rub your palms together and place them over your eyes (keep your eyes open or closed, whatever feels best). Feel this space relaxing, clearing and filling with light. If there is any residue, pull it out with your hands and shake it off- repeat until it feels better.  
  4. State what you choose- “I choose to feel ______,  I choose to shift ________, I trade in ____________ for ______________”.   

These are simple breaking state exercises that work. This experience is here to serve you, to help you understand your strength and power.  Use it.  

It matters not how often you find yourself in this hole.  For that is how you get stronger-by moving yourself to where you want to be.  Be careful not to kick yourself while you're down, be gentle, check in and get you what you feel you need.  

No more victim, I take responsibility

Heart Scripts from Divine Love are invitations to a gentle loving place where you can rest and perhaps see that there is another way.  

Dear love,

You are taking responsibility and have learned how to stay out of victim, martyr role.

You are aware of ego stories that lead you off to emotional (irrational) pathways. Stay in this slow lane of responsibility, but let's learn how to express yourself.  Express your feelings, wishes, desires, frustrations- stay and ask what you need.  Breathe and you will keep from spinning off into illusion.  

You are loved, you are a being who gets to express yourself and ask for things.  You get to listen and honor another as well.  But always remember they hold no power over how you choose to feel.  Got that!  You choose, take that responsibility and you will go places, you will actually work through things and move forward versus spinning your wheels and not getting anywhere and getting deeper and deeper in the sand. Give up responsibility=stuck.  

And just so you remember really deep down inside, here is a reminder-

You are completely loved and accepted for who you are right now. You are learning and making your way through this experience so beautifully and perfectly. Don’t push too hard, just stay with it slow and calm.  You will make it through. But you cannot do it wrong-this is all such magnificent learning.  

If you can remember we cleared you out of all those dark, shameful, unloved, unwanted, doing it wrong feelings-the ones that make you want to hide behind your stories of heroine/victim/poor me.  

What you say matters and you gain understanding by saying it. Even if it comes out all bumbly and imperfect. Work with it, take things back, start over if you need to, apologize.  It is worth it to find that true expression of your feelings in this moment.  

Do it! 

With love.

 

May you feel the inspiration of these words calling you to see there are other options, other choices in your journey. May you feel divine love and may you return to that love inside.  Return to you :)

Please share the love!  You know that friend of yours, that soul sister that needs to hear this message?  Share it with her.  

Introducing Heart Scripts~from Divine Love

I was stuck, stopped, and frustrated!

I felt blank, I had so many thoughts, and I had no thoughts, I had ideas, but no direction.  I couldn’t go any further, and I surrendered. I went into a silent retreat with a burning question to see a vision of me and my work, otherwise it was back to substitute teaching.

My mind swirled though, Was I ready for the answer? Was there really something there for me?Would I be able to bring it to life? Was I really cut out for greatness?

This is the result of that search:  

Heart Scripts from Divine Love are invitations to a gentle loving place where you can rest and perhaps see that there is another way.  

May you feel the inspiration of these words calling you to see there are other choices in your journey. May you feel divine love and may you return to that love inside.

Return to you :)

More to come!

Two ways to move into Heart Space

Do you analyze other's reactions to figure out what they think about you? 
Do you censor what you say or do to be perceived the way you want to? 
Do you suppress your feelings or intuition?   
Do you feel stuck in past regrets or worry about the future and miss the gift of the present moment?

That was me for so many years!   Until I learned to move from my head to my heart. 

Why is it important to move from your head to your heart?
One result I found was to move from the conditioning and programming I received (social, cultural, gender, religious, etc) and return to my essence-my spirit, my highest self- and be guided from there. 

  • I became aware of energy and sensations in my body, in the present situation. 
  • I allowed my feelings to be valid and considered the information they gave. 
  • I began trusting my intuition. 
  • I choose to do what felt more comfortable to me. 
  • I felt more present in my life, and more connected.
  • Because of this, I felt more kind and loving towards who I really am.   
  • I fell in love with myself! (ahhh sweet :)

Here are two simple techniques to experiment with this move.  

Thank you for the time you spend here and the time you take for yourself to practice Heart Space.
Please share your heart wisdom by commenting:
What have you noticed about your head and your heart?
Why is it important for you to reside more in your heart space?

With love,
Chandra
P.s.  I would be so grateful if you shared this with someone you know that can be aware of their heart space and use ideas for conscious living.